im not your little dad anymore, girl
my hidden talent is letting all of my homework and other obligations pile up until the very last minute so i can crack under the pressure and have a mental breakdown
how do astronauts say they’re sorry?
We dont apologize.
we are perfect.
nasa i know of at least 2 exploded spaceships that beg to differ
I wanna be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation
i’m ugly enough to make people question their sexual orientation
the dumbest thing is when parents say “this isnt how i raised you” like ?????? yes it really is you literally raised me and here i am
In ancient Rome; men found guilty of rape had their testicles crushed between two stones.
Personally, I think they should start doing this again
why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and cry over a tv show
why are my parents always like “go to bed.” i am in bed. im always in bed. you go to bed. stop talking to me.