sluttyoliveoil:

im not your little dad anymore, girl

queefjerkey:

my hidden talent is letting all of my homework and other obligations pile up until the very last minute so i can crack under the pressure and have a mental breakdown

knightscrest:

officialnasa:

knightscrest:

knightscrest:

how do astronauts say they’re sorry?

they apollo-gize!!

We dont apologize.

we are perfect.

nasa i know of at least 2 exploded spaceships that beg to differ

alberoni:

bettywhite4ever:

I wanna be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation

i’m ugly enough to make people question their sexual orientation

(Source: andrewbelami)

homosassy:

the dumbest thing is when parents say “this isnt how i raised you” like ?????? yes it really is you literally raised me and here i am

4kuma:

In ancient Rome; men found guilty of rape had their testicles crushed between two stones.

Personally, I think they should start doing this again

doctorangel:

angieharmons:

why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and cry over a tv show

same thing

(Source: rolypolyrizzoli)

reblog if you want anonymous opinions of you

(Source: deathology)

To every girl who didn’t hear this tonight, goodnight beautiful.

(Source: fuckingsession)

disneyprincest:

why are my parents always like “go to bed.” i am in bed. im always in bed. you go to bed. stop talking to me.